inside ME

As far as the school aspect of my life goes,
I Got my monster of a take home test finished today!! Man it feels good. Now its on to a major cram session for the 2nd part of the Physiology test. Luckily, the rest of my classes are CAKE.
As for everything else, I haven't worked since Friday the 7th but I'm back to work tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it. I work with some great and frustrating individuals :)
My mom and I had a heart to heart this morning, or more accurate, a few short hollers back and forth as I was running out the door for school just about my life-
She sent me this message this afternoon, while I was at school.
"The Lord tells us to cast our burdens upon him not just our sin."

Theres something to be said about being discontent. About always looking to the future, saying I'll be satisfied when, or after this, or when I'm done with the next thing.
I'm alive Today, I'm alive now. What am I waiting for? This is what I have. So...I've gotta get my butt in gear and enjoy it. Not that I don't... I'm not depressed, I'm not sad or angry at the world, I just don't think I get as much out of it as I should. I get, bored and indifferent at the routine of life. But everybody has the same life I've got. Different work, different classes, and different families, but the same everyday 'sameness'. It's just the way the world is now. And its great IF we keep it all in perspective, and that my friends, is where the challenge lies.

I know who I am, I know what I want, I know what I love, I know where my loyalties lie, I know my character, I know how I am perceived, I know who I am inside, but......somehow that gets lost when people see me. Some assume I'm stuck up, or not interested, but really...I'm probably just preoccupied with the next thing I have to get done, the guy I can't get out of my head, or thinking about how to better use my time, how to apologize to that special person, or how sometimes I feel like such a NERD. I didn't not say hello because I don't care, or I don't want to talk to you. There's always more to it that what can be seen on the surface. So hit me, and say hello...or don't. And Next time maybe I'll catch you. I'm a little antisocial sometimes but who isn't? I think we've all got a little 'home-body- ingrained in us! I promise I won't ALWAYS decline your invitation. I will eventually show up :) I can be a leader, but I can also be the last of a long line of followers because I'm easy goin'. I don't have absolute favorites or set ways. I go with the flow, because usually- either choice really is fine. I try to measure up, and sometimes I fall short. I try to be fun and crazy, but i'm 51% of my dad alright? Nothin I can do about it. There's a few days in the year that my 49% mom comes out but I never know when those days will decide to pop up!, so don't give up on me. I know how to pretend, just like everybody else. But don't make me. Let me, be me, and love me anyway.

XOXO everybody,
Live your story.